Why do you always wear that hat?
'Cause it fits my head.
Wanna try it on?
What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do?
Hmm? What do you call that?
Okay, one more time. You gonna sit on me?
So you can watch this. I don't wanna do this too many times.
Okay, put your finger there. Okay?
Okay? Loop's knotted, right?
Looks like the only way to get it off is to break the touch, right?
Now watch. You watchin'?
Watch carefully.
- Again, again! - Again, again! One more time!
Oh, no, no. I don't fall for that one twice.
- Now you guys get on.
Here.
Oh.
What?
Do you ever sit still for just a minute?
Well, you sit still too long in New York and you get renovated.
Why is it, that sometimes I get the feeling that you're laughing at me?
I don't know. Why?
No. You're supposed to say you're not laughing at me.
Oh, I see. You take care of both sides of the conversation, do you?
It's a man's world, Mr. Booker. Most women have to.
You can call me Tom.
Maybe I am laughin' a little bit.
I figure, since you're here, it might be nice to relax into the place a bit.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, it's beautiful country.
And I could see having some kind of a,
a vacation place, retreat,
but I don't know how you do it full-time.
Don't you miss the rest of the world?
What's there to miss?
Well, if you've never lived in a city with museums,
and theater and, and restaurants and music--
I-- Well... I can't explain.
Well, does Chicago count?
- You lived in Chicago. - That's where I met my wife.
You, you were, you were married to a woman in Chicago?
Yeah, really. A woman.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't-- No, I'm so--
I was studying engineering,
and she was studying music-- the cello.
I once heard her play a Dvorak concerto, and I thought it was...
the most beautiful piece of music I'd ever heard in my life.
Huh.
So... just who's laughin' at who here?
Jogger, huh?
I don't jog, Mr. Booker. I run.
That's lucky for you.
The grizzlies around here mostly go for joggers.
You sleepin' okay in that house?
Well, I don't sleep well anyway, but the house is fine, yeah.
- Oop. I have a way with animals.
That's all right. He's just young. Hold out your hand just a little lower.
That's it. So he can get the smell of you.
He's beautiful.
- Now how come you don't ride anymore? - Hmm?
Grace told me you used to ride when she was younger.
She did?
- Yep. - Oh. Uh--
I don't know, uh--
No time, I guess.
I thought it was supposed to be spring.
- Enjoy the day. - You too.
Come take a ride with me.
- Can you drive? - Drive? Not old enough.
Well, it's never too soon to start. Here.
Get in.
Uh, I, I can't.
Come on. I don't have all day.
Put the key in and turn it on.
- This one? - Mm-hmm.
- Now, the right pedal is the gas.
The other one is the brake.
Uh, I don't think I, I can with my, uh, with my leg.
Well, there's only one way to find out. Now put it in "D."
Now give it some gas.
Okay, we know you can.
Now you just gotta feel how much.
Now give-- Try it again.
There you go.
Nice. Real nice.
Now there's a little road up at the end here. Turn onto it.
Now just follow this. Nothing to it.
I'm gonna kinda close my eyes here for a little while,
so keep goin' till you run out of road.
Uh, I, I, I don't think I can.
It's not a question if you can. You are.
Where did you get Pilgrim from?
We bought him in Kentucky. Me and my mom took a trip down there to see him.
That must have been special.
Yeah.
Are you afraid of anything,
Tom Booker?
Oh, growin' old.
Not bein' much use.
- Hey, Grace? - Hmm?
What went on out there with Pilgrim?
See, Grace, I got a problem.
When I work with a horse, I like to know its history.
Most of the times a horse, in its own way, can tell you the whole story,
but sometimes they get so messed up in their head that you need more to go on.
Now I don't know how you feel about talkin' about it,
and if you don't feel like it, I understand,
but if I'm gonna figure out what's goin' on in his head,
sure would help me if I understood exactly what happened that day.
You know, not today. Whenever you feel like it.
I'll leave that up to you.
Uh-oh.
- The answer's no. - You haven't heard the question yet.
Now, the truth is, you'd be doin' me a real favor.
I got all these young colts that need ridin'.
Rimrock here, he's-- I mean, he's feelin' kind of left out.
Poor thing.
He'd be grateful, and he'd take real good care with you.
Is this how you're gonna make me pay my phone bill?
No. No, ma'am.
That part's extra.
Oh, brought you a hat.
- Oh, I have a hat. - I know. I've seen it.
I think my stirrups are too long or--
- No, they're fine. Relax your center. - Yeah.
- Just sittin' in a bucket. - Well, it's all coming back, you know.
I mean, I'll be fine.
Okay, well, then I'll stop talkin' then.
No, I didn't mean that. I-- You know, I've never ridden western before.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that. Just sit the horse.
You have a nice seat, and you're doing fine.
Thank you.
- You look good. You feel okay? - Yeah.
- Wanna pick it up a little? - Yeah.
Watch your reins.
Give him some room. Let him do the work.
- Okay? You okay? - Yep.
Let's go.
I envy your mother.
I do.
It must be great to be her age...
and to be at that point in life when you have no more guesswork.
No more impossible decisions to make.
And anyway, it doesn't matter because all the worries...
and all the wrong turns that you made are as valuable and as,
as, as cherished as the things that you did right.
Must be such a relief.
Must be such peace in that.
I don't think you have to wait to be her age to find that kind of peace.
Yeah, but how would you know, unless it was all behind you?
- Do you have it? - Sometimes.
Not all the time, but sometimes.
When?
Wakin' up on the ranch in the morning,
knowin' what I'm supposed to do that day.
Knowing I'm home.
Hmm.
I wake up every morning, and I don't know a damn thing. Was I--
Was I right to bring her here, away from what's familiar--
away from her father, her friends?
And the more I try and fix things, the more everything falls apart.
Maybe you should let 'em fall.
No, I can't.
Why?
Do you think I was right to come?
I can't answer that, Annie.
Hmm. Well, I'll know soon enough.
If I've made a mistake, Grace will let me know.
She's a strong kid.
She gets that from somebody.
Hmm.
Thank you for all you're doing.
You and your family-- Ietting us stay at the house.
It wasn't gettin' much use.
What was your wife like?
She had reddish hair.
Not, not quite. Almost.
Depended on the light.
She had green eyes.
And when she played, that was it.
Somethin' just went right through me.
I'd never heard music like that played before.
And the way she looked when she played it.
And then one day, she looked at me that way, and that was it--
- for both of us.
I knew she didn't want to be a rancher's wife, but I wanted to give it a try.
I thought she could give music lessons to the kids in town-- the school--
and that our kids would grow up with my brother's kids and play together.
But... she wasn't happy here.
"Too much space," she said.
So why didn't you stay in Chicago?
Wasn't enough space.
It just wasn't meant to be.
But how did you know... for sure?
Knowing's the easy part. Sayin' it out loud is the hard part.
Mmm. Seems so obvious now, doesn't it?
"We weren't right for each other. If only we knew then."
I didn't love her 'cause it was right.
I just loved her.
For whatever it's worth, Annie, it took a lot of guts for you to come here.
Lift your leg.
Come on. Come on.
Hey, Joe.
Hi.
Would you let me ride your horse?
Have you talked to Tom about it?
Of course I have.
I don't know.
You sure Tom said it's all right?
- You gonna give me a hand or what? - You sure?
Come on!
Okay.
Easy. Hold it.
Okay.
- Whoa.
Got it. Got it.
I can do it.
Here.
Are you okay?
Hey! You better not say anything!
I thought there were too many forks, so I just, um--
Oh, you look really pretty.
Thanks.
Does anybody want something to drink?
- Shit!
- Shh!
- I better go give your mom a hand. - Oh, yeah.
- Everything under control here? - Um, no, not really.
Uh, it's been so long since I've done this.
I've forgotten. And I couldn't find any Parmesan cheese.
Well, you got an easy crowd out there as long as it's hot.
Can I do anything?
Uh, just make yourself comfortable.
I am comfortable.
Well, um, in that case, you can bring in the... pasta.
You missed a button.
Thank you.
You know, I'll have another round of that spaghetti, if I may.
- Oh, of course. - Thank you.
I, uh, like the sauce. Maybe I could get the recipe?
It's from a jar.
Oh.
Well, now, you know what.
I, uh, used jar sauce once.
I don't believe it was near as good as this.
- Isn't that right, Frank? - No.
No. You know, I think you gotta know which brand to pick.
I sure would like the name of this one.
Mm-hmm.
Annie, you've given me a rare night off.
Ooh, you're touchin' on a sore subject here.
Diane's got these big dreams in her head about gettin' away to-- What was it?
- Greece, Morocco? - Morocco.
One of these places where women wear masks...
and everybody's runnin' around in robes and--
Well, we could use a vacation.
Well, we're goin' to Branson for the wedding.
-You just had a turn. -You don't know how to play these games.
- Hey! - Yes, I do.
- You do not. - You know, Frank.
You know, Branson, Missouri, is not exactly Morocco.
I got family there.
Got no family in Morocco as far as I know.
- It's my turn. - You had a turn.
- It was not! - Was so!
- Settle down. - You're just showin' off for--
- Shut up, stupid. - You're the only one who's stupid.
Lettin' her go and fall off your horse.
You little turd.
I saw them. Her tryin' to get on Gonzo.
- You turd! - Joe!
- Did you go riding? - No!
- Get up off the floor. - Out you go. Now!
- I didn't start it. - Right now. Come on.
Annie, I'm so sorry. They're just tired.
We should get them home to bed. Say good night and thank you.
- Annie, dinner was delicious. - Thank you so much.
- Say thank you. - Thank you.
Joe, did Grace try to ride?
I expect you should talk to Grace about that, ma'am.
If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry.
Mm-hmm.
Don't let her turn you away.
Grace.
Is everything all right?
- Did you try riding again? - Yeah.
Does that mean I'm cured?
Nobody's trying to cure you.
Look, I just wanna say I think it's great that you're riding again.
And I think I know why you needed to--
Yeah, you know everything.
Stop it. Why won't you let me talk to you?
Why are you so angry with me?
Whatever I do, it's wrong. Whatever I say, it's wrong.
Yeah? Well, now you know how it feels.
Look, I know that I'm hard on you sometimes.
- Right! - Sorry if that makes you feel this way.
But if I push you, it's only because--
Because if I'm your perfect daughter, that makes you the perfect mother?
I don't deserve that! I don't push for me.
I push for you so that you don't spend half your life...
not knowing where you belong.
Yeah? Well, you've done a great job.
Yeah.
Who's ever gonna want me like this?
Oh.
Who's ever gonna want me like this? Nobody will.
It sometimes doesn't seem this way, but I do understand what you're feeling.
When I was your age and when my dad died,
I felt like I'd lost everything and I'd be all alone.
And... but I've got you.
I used to pray every night...
that you and Dad would have another kid,
so I wouldn't have to be so... special.
I know.
And I know how-- how hard it must be to have lost your best friend...
and have your body be different than from how you'd like it to be.
But one day...
somebody will look at this extraordinary woman that you're becoming...
all they'll see is how much they love you.
That's all I see.
-Yep? -Hello, this is AT&T Conference Service.
- Is this Annie MacLean? - Yes.
I have a conference call scheduled for you with Mr. Gottschalk and Mr. Felton.
Mr. Felton. Hold on, please.
Okay, I'm ready.
I've been waiting for you to come back.
You hungry?
Judith was, um, telling me about this boy.
I never even got his name.
We were gonna go around the railroad bridge.
We were laughing about something. I don't know what.
And, um, her horse fell,
and Judith's foot was caught in the stirrup.
And she was so scared.
And next I saw this truck coming around the turn.
And it was honking, trying to get us to move.
And I-- I tried to grab her reins and...
to get her horse to move out of the way.
And the truck started to skid.
And there was no time to do anything and--
It ran right into Judith.
And she just disappeared.
And then it came at Pilgrim and me.
And Pilgrim reared up at the truck.
And I fell off.
But Judith-- Oh, God, Judith.
- I'm so sorry, Judith. - Grace!
Now, I'm not gonna tell ya it's gonna stop feelin' this bad.
But I will tell you you didn't do anything wrong.
Same thing could have happened to me or to Frank or to Joey.
And it doesn't make any sense to try to figure out why these things happen.
There was a boy from the Blackfeet reservation.
He used to do some work around here for a while. Sixteen, strong kid, good kid.
He and I were really, really good friends.
One day he went swimmin' and dove headfirst into the lake.
Hit right into a rock and snapped his neck.
Paralyzed him.
And after the accident,
I'd look in on him from time to time.
But he wasn't there.
Like his mind, his spirit, whatever you want to call it, just disappeared.
The only thing left was just anger.
Sort of if the boy I once knew just went somewhere else.
I know where he goes.
I know you do.
Don't you disappear.
You do whatever you have to do to hold on.
I'll tell you one more thing.
You know when Pilgrim reared up against that truck?
You know what I think?
I think that damned horse loved you so much he was tryin' to protect you.
That's what I think.
How'd you get like this?
No, no, no. Get up. Let me show you.
- Wanna see it again? - Yep.
- Can you do it without smiling? - Yep.
No, you can't. Not possible. I can feel the muscles--
- Try me. - I can feel the muscles--
It must be nice to have a few days off work, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's more than a few days though. I'm not an editor anymore.
First time I said it out loud.
They fired ya?
No, no, it's more like a--
Yeah. They fired me.
You don't seem too upset about it.
It's delayed shock or maybe not.
I'm sure I can talk my way back in there or get another magazine someplace.
But maybe I don't-- I'm just not sure I-- I'm not sure I want to.
Well, I guess you don't have to figure it out till you get home.
See, when you hit like a windmill?
It's not gonna do any good.
But if you hit down, like you hit a golf club--
You come back, down. Down into it.
Did you always know this was the life you wanted?
Well, I was a rancher's daughter.
I guess it's not too far to go to becomin' a rancher's wife. Yeah.
Huh. Frank's a good man.
Oh, they don't come better.
I don't deny there are times I think about all the things I won't have.
Maybe I'll get to see Morocco. Probably not.
Did Tom have many girlfriends after his divorce?
Hey, look, Annie, I'm not good at this sort of talk.
Goes round and round somethin' and never gets to it,
so let's just say what it is.
Tom means so much to this family.
Don't you go lookin' here for whatever it is you're lookin' for.
Don't make that man go through somethin'...
that took him so long to see his way clear of in the first place.
I don't think Tom would do anything he didn't want to do.
Yeah. He's a good man.
Ooh, he's got a gift. Comes from heaven above, I swear.
But he's still just a man.
Bitter raindrops glisten
On the painted lnjun flower
Honey child, the moon
Loves you true
The muddy road is brown and still
As far as you can see
Honey child The noontime is
Couldn't, um--
There's something I need to know.
Are you sure?
Gotta get back.
Dad?
Dad!
Diane. It's a pleasure. Welcome.
- Diane. - Hello.
- Frank. - Hello, Frank.
- This is our oldest boy, Joe. - Hi, Joe.
- And this is Mr. Booker. - Tom.
- Hi, Tom. - It's a pleasure.
And I want to thank you for the way you took in my girls here.
I can already see a difference in them. Very grateful to ya.
Dad. Dad, did you notice? No cane.
I know. That is amazing.
- Could we show him Pilgrim? - You bet.
- Let's go get your bags. - Need a hand, Annie?
See ya later.
So at this point I'm pretty sure I'm lost.
So I stop by this general store and ask if anyone knows the Booker ranch.
This nice, uh, older gentleman with a bandage on his head gave me directions.
- Sweet Jesus.
That's Henry Vanoker.
I'm surprised you didn't wind up in Mexico.
Well, once when, uh, Dad was in lndia, he got lost...
way, way up in these mountains.
When he finally found his way back, everyone said he discovered a new route.
And they redid all the maps.
Well, now, how'd you end up in lndia, Robert?
Oh, this was right after college. I was in the Peace Corps.
Well, that's where he met Mom.
Hey, tell 'em about when Mom went looking for Tubab.
- No, I-- - Dad. Come on, Dad.
Well, Mom was a writer, and, um, Dad knows the rest.
She was a journalist for an English periodical.
- What was it called? - Cambridge Monthly.
Right. And she decided to go to lndia all by herself without knowing a soul.
Uh, she had no place to stay.
But she was-- she was told to look up Tubab.
- Tubab? - She comes to my door--
suitcase and typewriter--
and asks where Tubab is, and I said, "Right here."
And she said, "You're Tubab?" I said, "No, my name is Robert.
Tubab means white man, and, yes, I am."
And that was how we met.
Small bed. Maybe I should sleep in the barn.
You're allergic to hay.
I-- I apologize for the surprise.
But the days only opened yesterday, and I figured that--
You don't have to apologize.
You have every right to be here.
You were right to bring her here.
Well, there have been plenty of times I wasn't so sure.
You must be tired, huh?
Yeah.
And out here-- I'll show you.
- Sorry about that. - Oh, that's okay.
I can't believe it's the same horse.
We still have a ways to go.
So-- How much longer do you think?
Like I told your wife, it's really up to Pilgrim.
Uh-huh.
Dad, will you come dance? Please, Dad!
Daylight has found me
Here again
You can ask me anything
But where I've been
You should know the reason
Why I called
I was lookin' for a soft place
To fall
Lookin' for a soft place
Nothin' more than a small taste
Of a love that ended
Long ago
Lookin' for a place to hide
A warm bed on a cold night
I didn't mean to hurt you
No, no, no
Lookin' out your window
At the dawn
Baby, when you wake up
I'll be gone
You're the one who taught me
After all
How to find a soft place
To fall
The summer is really very brief.
After I doctor those foals,
you want me to put them in the upper or lower pasture?
- Well, upper. - That's very short.
You grew up here? This is where you're from?
I wasn't born here.
- So winter is real-- - I asked Annie-- She didn't know.
That's the time you gotta feed cattle...
and hope the majority of 'em survive.
Is this how it's gonna be now, hmm?
You don't speak to me? We don't speak to each other?
Well, I'm speaking to you now, so say something.
- No. - Why?
- I can't get in the middle of this. - You are in the middle of this.
- He's a good man, Annie. - I never said he wasn't.
- I can't change the way I feel. - You gotta figure out what you want.
- Do you know what you want? - I do know what I want.
And I'm tryin' real hard not to get lost in this.
I never expected to feel this way again.
Annie, this is where I belong. This is who I am.
Is this what you want?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Can you tell that to your family? To Robert? To Grace?
If you had a chance to go home and change things, would you?
You can't ask me that. It's not that simple.
It is.
It's not fair.
No, it's not fair.
There's something you gotta do tomorrow, boy.
It'll be okay, Grace. Just hang on there a minute or two.
Tom will get him all right.
- What are you doing? - Gonna have to do something different.
It's not gonna hurt him, right?
Nothin' we've done has hurt him.
Grace, this is Pilgrim's chance, and it's yours too.
Okay.
Let him get everything ready. Come on, Grace.
Come along.
Come on.
That's enough! Stop!
Grace, this is where you come in.
No.
Come on.
Okay, I want you to get down here, Grace.
Grace. I want you to come over here and sit next to me.
- But-- But why would he let me-- - Grace, look at him.
Look at him.
He's okay, and you never did anything to let him down.
- No-- - Grace, listen to me.
- No, I can't. - Grace, you've got to do this.
Trust me just one more time.
Do what?
I want you to come over here and sit next to me.
Start right here where the neck is and the head, and I want you to stroke him.
I want you to rub him and feel him all over.
That's it.
- That's it.
That's it. Go on ahead.
Grace, now we're going to show Pilgrim here how to help you get on him.
Because, you see, there's a point where neither of you is gonna need me anymore.
And we're there.
I'm not askin'. Put your leg over the saddle here.
That a girl.
Now we're gonna rock him up.
Oh.
- Dad. - Honey, you were wonderful.
Hey there. Gettin' ready to go home, are ya?
Mm-hmm. Is Tom around?
No, he went to Sheridan to get some horses. He left last night.
Um, when's he coming back?
Oh, I don't rightly know.
Let me know when you need some help loadin' Pilgrim, okay?
Yeah.
- What time's your flight? - 12:15.
Bookers want to leave for the airport by 9:30.
Sure you want to drive Pilgrim back?
Well, I already know the way. It's not like I have a job to rush home to.
To tell you the truth, I could use the time alone.
When you planning to start?
Oh, I guess I'll leave when you and Grace go.
May I make a suggestion?
What?
Take your time.
What's the matter? You look like there's something wrong.
I'll tell you something, Annie.
I stood there looking at that horse,
and I swear I felt like the same thing was happening to me.
And I have two choices.
I can either fight the way things are...
or accept them.
See, um,
I always knew I loved you more.
Didn't bother me.
I guess I felt kind of lucky, a little amazed that...
a woman like you would want to be with a man like me.
And I guess I thought if I could do everything right--
If I could-- If I was the best husband I could be, the best father,
even being a good lawyer only mattered because of what it meant for us.
If I could do all that, it wouldn't make any difference...
if we loved each other the same or not.
I didn't ask for more.
I told myself I didn't need any more.
But...
the truth is, you don't know how you feel about me.
You don't know if you want a life with me anymore.
And the truth is...
I don't want you to come home until you do know...
one way or the other.
Okay?
- Thanks, Joe. - Yep.
Bye, Annie. Good luck to ya.
Thank you. And you too.
All right, everybody in. Frank, we all set?
I believe so.
I can't believe he's not here to say good-bye.
Oh, he probably got held up is all.
No, sweetie, the truth is, he's not real good at good-byes.
You know, come to think of it, not too good at hellos either.
- You ready? - Just a second.
- Mmm! - When will you be home?
- Oh, in a few days. - I'll miss you.
Well, if I get lost, you know where to send the search party.
- Could be just about anywhere.
I'll call you, okay?
- Bye.
Bye.
He goin' back inside the trailer or runnin' alongside it?
I just wanted to be here when you left.
I don't want to leave you.
I don't want you to.
Just a few more days.
- And then? - Oh.
Why did this happen?
I don't ask those questions, Annie.
And I didn't ask to love you, but I do.
- Oh! - I'll always have that with me.
Tom.
Can we go for one last ride, hmm?
Yeah. I'll saddle 'em up.